Parenting

Parenting after separation

If you and your partner have separated, you will need to decide the parenting arrangements for your child.

You and your ex-partner are responsible for deciding the parenting arrangements for your child, including:

• where your child lives
• where your child goes to school
• what medical treatment your child receives.

You both have the responsibility and authority to make decisions about any major issues or events regarding your child. You share this responsibility regardless of what type of relationship you were in, if at all. You can exercise this responsibility jointly or separately. 

If it is safe, you should consult with each other about these issues and make decisions that are in the best interests of your child.

If you can’t agree on your parenting decisions, you must try mediation before you can go to court, except in some limited circumstances.

For more information, see Parenting after separation.

Making an agreement

If you and your ex-partner agree on how you want to care for your child, you don’t need to go to mediation or court.

You should put your agreement in writing. This will help avoid misunderstandings and disputes about the terms of your agreement.

You can make:

• an informal agreement, or
• a parenting plan.

If you want an agreement that is legally binding, you can apply for consent orders.

For more information, see Parenting agreements.

While you decide your parenting arrangements, you may also need to discuss child support.

For more information, see Child support.

Pre-action procedures

If you and your ex-partner can’t agree on how to care for your child, you must make a genuine effort to resolve your dispute before you can go to court.

You must:

• go to mediation – also called family dispute resolution, and
• write to your ex-partner explaining what you want and suggesting a solution to your dispute.

These steps are known as pre-action procedures. You must follow these steps, unless you are exempt.

You must also disclose all information relevant to your case, such as criminal records, medical reports, school reports, letters, drawings, and photographs.

For more information, see Pre-action procedures in parenting cases.

Going to court

If you and your ex-partner you have followed the pre-action procedures and still can’t agree on how to care for your child, you can ask the court to resolve your dispute.

The court can make orders that set out the parenting arrangements for your child – parenting orders.

You can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia or Local Court of NSW for parenting orders.

Going to court should be a last resort as it is the most expensive, and time-consuming way to make parenting arrangements.

For more information, see Going to court for your parenting case.

Parenting orders

You and your ex-partner must follow your parenting orders while they are in force, unless you have a reasonable excuse. If you don’t follow your parenting orders, and you don’t have a reasonable excuse, the other parent may apply to enforce the orders.

You can be penalised by the court for not following your parenting orders without a reasonable excuse.

This is why it is important that understand what the court has ordered you to do. If you don’t, you should get urgent legal advice. 

For more information, see Parenting orders.

After the court makes a decision in your case

If the court makes parenting orders, you and your ex-partner must take all reasonable steps to follow your orders, unless you have a reasonable excuse.

It is important that understand what you have been ordered to do. If you don't, you should get urgent legal advice. 

If you are unhappy with a decision or order, you may be able to:

• apply for a review within 21 days, or
• appeal within 28 days.

If your circumstances change, you may want to change your parenting orders. The easiest and cheapest way to change your parenting agreements is to negotiate a new agreement with your ex-partner, if you can do this safely. If you can't agree, you may be able to apply to end (set aside) or change (vary) an order.

If your ex-partner doesn’t follow your property settlement orders, you may be able to take steps enforce them.

For more information, see After the court makes a decision in your parenting case.

Grandparents and extended family

The law doesn’t give grandparents rights over their grandchild. But it does recognises that a child benefits from having a relationship and spending time with their grandparents, relatives and members of their extended families.

It also protects the rights of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander to maintain their connection with their family, community, culture, country and language.

Grandparents and any person concerned with the care, welfare and development of a child can apply for parenting orders, including an order to spend time with a child. However, before you apply, you must follow the pre-action procedures unless you are exempt.

For more information, see Are you a grandparent? Your legal questions answered.

Support services

Family counselling

Counselling can help you to deal with the stress of separation, ongoing relationship issues and conflict between family members.

Family counselling is available to individuals, separated couples, parents and their children, and extended family members, for example grandparents.

The cost of family counselling varies depending on which service you use and your ability to pay.

Family counselling is confidential. Anything that is said, and any documents used, in counselling cannot be shared, except:

• with everyone’s permission, or
• in limited circumstances to protect someone’s life or prevent a crime being committed.

For more information, see Counselling on the Family Relationships online website.

Parenting programs

Post separation parenting programs can help you to support your child through  family separation and manage your relationship with your former partner. They help you to resolve parenting disputes peacefully and minimise conflict with your former partner so that it doesn’t harm your child.

If you are involved in parenting proceedings, the court may order you to attend a post separation parenting program.

To find your nearest program provider, see Find local help on the Family Relationships Online website.

Last updated: September 2026