Parenting after separation

Decision making

The law does not tell you how to care for your child after separation. You and your ex-partner are both responsible for deciding the parenting arrangements for your child, including:

• where your child lives
• where your child goes to school
• what medical treatment your child receives.

You both have the responsibility to make decisions about any major issues or events regarding your child, unless a court has ordered otherwise. This is known as parental responsibility. You share this responsibility regardless of what type of relationship you were in. You can exercise this responsibility jointly or separately.

If it is safe, you should consult with each other about these issues and make decisions that are in the best interests of your child. If you reach an agreement, you should put your agreement into writing.

For more information, see Parenting agreements.

Parental responsibility does not cover the day-to-day decisions about the care of your child, such as what your child wears and eats. The parent who is caring for your child has the responsibility for making these decisions. You don’t have to check with each other about these issues, however, you can if it will help you to carry out your parenting arrangements.

Sharing parental responsibility doesn’t necessarily mean you will spend equal time with your child, unless you agree to this or a court orders it.

Schooling decisions

If you and your ex-partner have parental responsibility and/or have joint decision-making for your child, you should consult with one another about any decisions relating to your child’s schooling if it is safe to do so. This includes decisions about:

• what school your child will attend – public, private or home school
• whether your child will attend the same school as siblings
• travel to and from school
• how you will pay school fees
• who will attend school events, such as parent-teacher conferences.

For more information, see Schooling decisions after separation.

Medical decisions

If you and your ex-partner share parental responsibility or joint decision-making for your child, you should talk to each other about decisions about medical treatment for your child, if it is safe to do so. This includes decisions about:

• prescribed medicine for your child
• medical tests and investigations
• vaccinations
• surgery, except in an emergency.

For more information, see Medical decisions for your child.

Religious and cultural decisions

If you and your ex-partner share parental responsibility or joint decision-making for your child, you should talk to each other about your child’s religious and cultural upbringing, if it is safe to do so. This includes decisions about:

• what religious services your child will attend
• what religious ceremonies your child will participate in.

If your child is Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander, this also includes decisions about protecting your child’s right to enjoy their culture.

For more information, see Your child’s religious and cultural upbringing.

Birth certificates

You must register your baby within 60 days of their birth. The hospital does not do this for you.

You can do this:

• online, or
• in writing, by completing a Birth Registration Statement.

You will need to provide a copy of a notification provided by the hospital, a doctor or registered Midwife or by independent witnesses who saw the birth occur.

You must register your baby using a Birth Registration Statement if you gave birth at home without a doctor or midwife present, and you didn’t go to the hospital or seek medical attention within 24 hours after the birth.

You can lodge your completed form:

• in person at your nearest Service NSW service centre
• by post to:

Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages
GPO Box 30
SYDNEY NSW 2001.

You don’t need to pay a fee to register your baby’s birth. However, if you want a birth certificate, you may have to pay a fee unless you are granted a fee wavier.

For more information, see Register a birth on the Service NSW website.

Father refusing to sign birth registration statement

If your child's father won’t sign the birth registration statement, you should still lodge your application within 60 days.

If he is not listed as the father, this may affect your ability to claim child support.

If he says he is not the father of your child, you can ask him to agree to parentage testing. Parentage testing is also known as DNA testing. If he agrees to parentage testing, you will need to use one of the laboratories accredited by the National Association of Testing Authorities Australia (NATA). You will have to reach a private agreement about who pays for the testing.

He doesn’t have to agree to parentage testing unless there is a court order requiring him to do the testing.

If he refuses and you want to have him added to the birth certificate, you can apply for court orders for parentage testing. The court will only make an order for parentage testing if they are considering another issue, for example, an application for parenting orders or a child support declaration.

For more information, see Child support.

Removing the other parent

A birth certificate is a factual record of your child's birth.

You can't remove your ex-partners name because they don’t spend time with your child or pay child support. The only time a parent’s name may be removed from a birth certificate is when:

• your child is adopted
• a court orders a name to be removed, or
• there is evidence, such as a parentage test, proving that your ex-partner is not the father of your child and was incorrectly registered as a parent.

Changing your child’s name

By agreement

You and your ex-partner can change your child’s name if you both agree.

You can do this:

• online, or
• in writing.

To apply in writing, you need to complete an Application to register a change of name for a child (under 18).

To lodge your form by post, it should be addressed to:

Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages
GPO Box 30
SYDNEY NSW 2001

You need to return all of the original birth and change of name certificates for your child issued by the NSW Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages with your application.

You need to pay a fee when you lodge your completed form.

For more information, see Register a change of name (child) on the Service NSW website.

Without an agreement

You can change your child’s name without your ex-partner’s agreement if:

• you are the only parent listed on your child’s birth certificate
• you have an order for sole parental responsibility or sole decision-making responsibility
• you have a court order specifically approving your child’s change of name
• your ex-partner has died.

If your ex-partner won’t agree to change your child’s name, you must follow the pre-action procedures, unless you are exempt. 

For more information, see Family law mediation.

If you reach an agreement at mediation, you should put it in writing.

For more information, see Parenting agreements.

If you have followed the pre-action procedures and are still unable to reach an agreement, you can apply for parenting orders, including change of name orders.

For more information, see Changing your child’s name by court order.

Travel and passports

You can travel with your child if:

• there are no parenting orders preventing you from travelling with your child, and
• your child has a valid passport issued in their name.

Before you start booking or paying for your trip, you should try to reach a travel agreement with your ex-partner. You should provide them with a travel itinerary that details where you will be staying and how you can be contacted throughout the trip.

If your trip covers time that your child should be spending time with your ex-partner, you should try to reach an agreement for your child to travel. If you can’t agree, you should arrange mediation.

No parenting orders

If you don’t have any parenting orders, you should try to make a travel agreement with your ex-partner. If you reach an agreement, you should get it in writing.

If you can't agree, you should try to resolve your dispute at mediation. In limited circumstances, you may be exempt from attending mediation and following the pre-action procedures.

For more information, see Family law mediation.

If you reach an agreement at mediation, you should put it in writing.

For more information, see Parenting agreements.

If mediation is unsuccessful, you will be given a section 60I certificate, which lets you apply to the court for travel and passport orders. Don’t book a holiday overseas until your dispute is resolved.

Parenting case in court

If you have a parenting case in court, you need to:

• follow any orders about overseas travel, or
• get your ex-partner's authenticated written consent for your child to travel, if there are no orders.

Authenticated written consent means your ex-partner's agreement is:

• in writing
• signed by your ex-partner, and
• witnessed by a Justice of the Peace or lawyer.

Parenting orders

If you have parenting orders that allow you travel overseas with your child, you need to follow the orders.

If you have parenting orders that don’t address overseas travel, you need your ex-partners written authenticated consent to travel with your child.

If you have, or have applied for, parenting orders, it's an offence to take your child overseas, unless the orders allow you to, or the other parent agrees give authenticated written consent.

Passports

If both parents agree, you can apply for a passport for your child.

For more information, see How to get a child passport on the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade website.

If your ex-partner doesn’t agree to your child getting a passport, you can ask the Australian Passport Office to issue your child a passport due to special circumstances. You will need to explain why you can’t obtain permission from the other parent.

For more information about this, see Parental consent on the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade website.

If your request is rejected, you can apply to the court for orders allowing your child to have a passport and travel overseas. Before you apply for court orders, you must go to mediation and follow the pre-action procedures, unless you are exempt.

For more information, see the fact sheet Children and international travel after family separation on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

Don’t book your holiday unless your child has a valid passport and you have court orders or your ex-partners agreement for your child to travel.

For more information, see our factsheet Travelling with my child overseas (PDF, 389 KB).

Foreign Passports

Your child may be eligible for a passport from another country if they have dual citizenship or nationality. In some countries, your child can get a passport with only one parent’s consent. If a foreign passport was issued without your permission, you should contact the relevant embassy.

Family law watch list

The family law watch list stops anyone from taking your child out of Australia.

If you are concerned that your child is going to be taken overseas without your consent, you can apply to the court to have your child's name placed on the family law watch list. You may be exempt from following the pre-action procedures if your matter is urgent.

The court can make an order very quickly if there is an immediate risk that your child is about to taken overseas. The court has a service for these emergencies outside of business hours. You can call your nearest registry and get details about this emergency service.

If the court makes a Family Watch List order, you must send an email or fax to the Australian Federal Police with:

• a copy of the sealed orders, and
• a completed family law watch list request ​form.

For a copy of this form, see Family Law Watchlist on the Australian Federal Police website.

Before you apply for a family watch list order, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see our factsheet How do I put my child on the Family Law Watchlist? (PDF, 426 KB).

Moving house

Moving house with your child is also known as relocation.

You can move a short distance with your child if:

• this won’t affect the time your child lives or spends with your ex-partner, and
• there is no court order stopping you from moving with your child.

If moving will affect your parenting arrangements, for example, for your child’s schooling, you should discuss this with your ex-partner. You may need to negotiate a new parenting agreement if it is not practical to continue following your existing agreement.

If you have parenting orders about your child’s schooling, you must follow these orders.

Moving without parenting orders

If the distance you want to move will affect the time your child lives or spends with your ex-partner, you need to speak to your ex-partner and try to reach an agreement about relocating.

Parents are expected to consult with one another and reach agreement on all major issues about your child’s care, including where your child will live. You should do this before you make plans to move.

If you can't reach agreement, you should try to resolve your dispute at mediation. In limited circumstances, you may be exempt from attending mediation and following the pre-action procedures.

For more information, see Family law mediation.

If you reach an agreement at mediation, you should put it in writing.

For more information, see Parenting agreements.

If mediation is unsuccessful, you will be given a section 60I certificate, which lets you apply to the court for a relocation order. When deciding whether to make the order, the court will look at what is in the best interests of your child.

Moving without an agreement

If you move without an agreement, your ex-partner can apply for relocation orders. These can require:

• you to immediately return your child to the area you moved from, or
• your child to go live with the other parent.

If your ex-partner has relocated with your child without your agreement, you may be able to apply to the court for:

• a relocation order, or
• a recovery​ order - an order requiring your child to be returned to you.

For more information, see Children: Relocation, travel and the Hague Convention on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

Who will look after my child if I die?

In your will, you can name who you want to care for your child after you die. This is called appointing a testamentary guardian. This is usually done if the other parent has already died.

Before you appoint a guardian, it is important that you discuss your wishes with them and your family.

You should talk to them about:

• how you want your child to be cared for
• your children’s education
• your children’s religious and cultural upbringing.

It is important that they agree to becoming your children’s guardian. The appointment is not legally binding or enforceable, and they can refuse to act as guardian if they don’t want to take on that responsibility. 

This may also help to avoid disagreements between your family members over who will care for your child if you are no longer able to.

A testamentary guardianship will end when your child turns 18 or the guardian is removed by a court.

For more information, see Wills.

Appointing a testamentary guardian does not give the guardian parental responsibility for your child. Only parents have parental responsibility for their child, however a court order can also give someone parental responsibility. This responsibility can only be given or removed by a court order.

If your ex-partner is still alive, they will continue to have parental responsibility for your child after you die, unless this is removed by a court.

If there is a dispute about who will have responsibility for your child, your ex-partner, testamentary guardian, or another person, like a family member, can apply for court orders for your children. The court may consider your wishes when deciding what orders to make. However, the court can appoint someone else to be your child’s guardian if it is in your child’s best interests.  

The court can also remove a guardian and appoint a new guardian in their place if it is in your child’s best interests.

If you are concerned about who will care for your child after you die, you should get legal advice.​

Last updated: July 2026