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Parenting agreements

Information about the different types of parenting agreements you can make for your child.

What to consider

There are several things you may need to consider when deciding what type of parenting agreement works best in your circumstances:

  • the age of your child
  • the nature of your relationship with the other parent
  • how well you and the other parent communicate with one another
  • whether you want to review the effects of your parenting plan
  • whether you may want to change your agreement again in the future
  • the financial cost of making an agreement.

Advantages and disadvantages of parenting agreements

Type of agreementAdvantagesDisadvantages
Informal agreement
  • Very flexible – no rules on how to make an informal agreement.
  • No limit on the number of times you can change the agreement. This is great if you want to review your agreement in the future or think your circumstances might change.
  • No legal or court costs.
  • Misunderstandings or disputes may occur if the terms of the agreement are not stated clearly or lack necessary detail, especially with verbal agreements.
  • No way to check the terms of verbal agreements.
  • Not legally enforceable.
  • Can be revoked unilaterally.
  • No protection for victims of domestic or family violence during negotiations.
Parenting plan
  • Very flexible – minimal rules you have to follow to make a parenting plan.
  • No limit on the number of times you can change the agreement. This is great if you want to review your agreement in the future or think your circumstances might change.
  • No court costs.
  • If you end up in court later, the court will consider the terms of your most recent parenting plan.
  • Misunderstandings or disputes may occur if the terms of the agreement are not stated clearly or lack necessary detail.
  • Not legally enforceable.
  • Can be revoked unilaterally.
  • You may have to pay legal fees if you get a lawyer to draft your parenting plan.
  • Protection for victims of domestic or family violence during negotiations only if assisted by a lawyer.
Parenting orders (including consent orders)
  • Legally enforceable.
  • Can be used to facilitate contact between a parent and child, which is otherwise prohibited by an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order (ADVO).
  • The court considers safety and risk, especially in parenting proceedings.
  • Protection available for a parent and/or child who has experienced domestic or family violence.
  • Protection is available for children who have experienced child abuse.
  • Can be changed by a parenting plan, unless orders state otherwise. 
  • Misunderstandings or disputes may occur if orders are not stated clearly or lack necessary detail.
  • Can’t be revoked by either parent.
  • No automatic right to change orders. Can be difficult to change if you and the other parent can’t agree on new parenting arrangements.
  • If orders are changed by a parenting plan, they won’t be legally enforceable anymore.
  • You may have to pay legal fees and court costs.

Informal agreement

An informal agreement can include a verbal or written agreement.

There are no rules for making an informal agreement. It can be as detailed or as simple as you like, and for a short or long period of time.

If you make an informal agreement, you should put it in writing. This will help avoid misunderstandings and disputes about the terms of your agreement.

You and your ex-partner can change your agreement at any time by making a further agreement. There are no rules about how to change an informal agreement.

You don’t go to court for an informal agreement. For this reason, your agreement won’t be legally enforceable.

Case study

Luke and Kirra have separated after 15 years together. They have two children together, Marli who is twelve and Tarni who is ten. Kirra has always been the children’s primary carer. Despite their separation, they have an amicable relationship and are focused on taking care of the children.

Following their separation, Kirra and the children stayed in the family home. Luke and Kirra agreed that it would be best for the children to remain in the family home and keep their bedrooms. This is the only home the children have ever lived in. Luke moved into a rental property near the children’s school.

The children have been spending time with Luke every second Wednesday night and every second weekend from Friday until Monday. Both Luke and Kirra work full-time. When the children are in their care, they take the children to school before going to work. When the children finish school, their grandmother Talia (Luke’s mother) picks them up and cares for them until Luke or Kirra finish work.

These arrangements have been working very well. Marli and Tarni have settled into their new routine. They are both getting good grades at school and still spend time with their friends in the afternoon and on weekends. They have also recently started taking tennis lessons every Wednesday afternoon.

Luke and Kirra haven’t had any disagreements about their parenting arrangements and don’t want to go to mediation or court. They have decided to keep their parenting agreement informal.

Parenting plan

A parenting plan is a written agreement, voluntarily entered into, signed and dated by both parents, that sets out the care arrangements for their child. This includes a parenting plan that was made overseas.

There are no rules about how a parenting plan must be set out. It can be as detailed or as simple as you like.

A parenting plan must cover at least one of these issues:

  • who has parental responsibility for your child
  • who your child lives with
  • who your child spends time with
  • the communication your child has with the other parent and family members
  • financial support for your child
  • the process for resolving parenting disputes
  • the process for changing the parenting plan
  • any aspect of the care, welfare or development of your child.

A parenting plan does not have to be witnessed by an authorised witness.

You don’t go to court for a parenting plan. For this reason, your parenting plan will not be legally enforceable. You can’t be punished by a court for not following your parenting plan. However, it can be used as evidence of your parenting agreement if you end up in court.

You and your ex-partner can change your parenting plan at any time by making a further parenting agreement.

For more information about parenting plans, including how to make one, see Making a parenting plan.

Consent orders

Consent orders are parenting arrangements agreed to by both parents that are approved by a court.

They are legally enforceable. You and your ex-partner must follow your consent orders. If you breach your consent orders without a reasonable excuse, you can be punished by a court.

Consent orders have the same effect as orders made by a Judge after a hearing.

You can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia or Local Court of NSW for consent orders.

Before you apply for consent orders, you should get legal advice. Consent orders are meant to finalise your parenting matter so that you don’t come back to court. If you decide you want to change your consent orders, you will have to follow the pre-action procedures and negotiate with your ex-partner about any changes. If you and your ex-partner can’t agree on how to change the orders, there are only limited circumstances when you can apply to change the orders.

For more information, see We have agreed on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

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